Esau trades something that God is doing for something that he wants—he’s making a trade for instant gratification. In what areas of your life do you trade spiritual opportunity for physical comfort or pleasure? In what ways do you lean towards being the “immoral man” (the man consumed with the world)?

We are foolish to take a short-term compromise, comfort, or rest, and miss out on the long-term spiritual benefit. Where can we make short-term sacrifices for eternal gain? Matt lists the examples of materialism, busyness, self-absorption or self-importance, worshipping our children, affirmation, sex, comfort, being alone, friends, and acceptance. Which of these examples resonate with you the most and why?

Matt referenced Matthew 13:44 and challenged us to take our current circumstances and what we have been given and trade it all in for spiritual value. Where can you trade your circumstances, gifts, and resources for God’s Kingdom? Where are you already making this trade?

Esau and Isaac are both under the tyranny of their appetites, acting as slaves to the desires of their flesh, while Rebekah and Jacob live under the rule of ambition. In what ways do you see your heart being governed by appetite or ambition?

We are all ruled by something. If you are not ruled by who God is and what He says to be true, something else will take the throne of your heart. How have you seen this expressed in your own life? What has taken a seat at the throne of your heart recently?

Instead of going to the One who ultimately rules, Rebekah takes matters into her own hands. In view of Rebekah’s manipulative actions, Bill White challenges us to take caution: we need to leave space for God to work on our behalf. Where can you apply this truth in your life right now? Where do you need to leave room for God to work? How are you trying to step in and rule instead of going to the One who rules?

When Esau experienced injustice through Jacob’s deception, he comforted himself with the thought of revenge. To what things do you turn to console yourself in the face of injustice? How do those comforts reveal the ways you don’t trust God to be God?

When Rebekah realized the consequences of her actions, her solution was to encourage Jacob to flee instead of staying and trying to pursue reconciliation with Esau. In your own life, what are some ways you can honor God in your current situations instead of seeking to escape them?

Rebekah and Jacob wanted the right things to happen, but in their efforts to achieve the desired outcome, they chose the wrong methods. What things are you hoping for that require you to wait on God’s timing? In what ways do you find yourself trying to rush God or take things into your own hands?

Bill mentioned that we try to “seek transcendence” in a world that will not fulfill us. What does it mean to seek transcendence? Where in your life do you expect a heavenly reality from a worldly experience? (e.g. a man seeking to bless his family is so lost in work that he loses them, a woman seeking worth gives herself to men over and over becomes desolate, parents r who organize their life around a child to help them be successful, but they become entitled, etc.)

In Genesis 28:13, God gives to Jacob all that Jacob tries and fails to obtain by his own strength; all that we truly need we cannot obtain on our own. In what ways have you tried to make sure you have a blessed life in your own strength? How can you learn to grow into the blessing God has already provided?

We can be tempted to live on the fringe of the blessings we have from our local church and be satisfied by that instead of seeking and finding that satisfaction in God alone. How might you be enlisting Grace Church as just another tool to help you live a better life? Think about the circumstances that drive you to connect to God—are you connecting to him to get what you want? Or connecting to him because he is all you need?

God’s presence is not in a physical location; God’s presence, where heaven and earth meet, is found in the people of God. The fulfillment of Bethel is us as God’s people. What does this community of people look like in your life? In what ways does your community challenge you?

Instead of giving up or feeling discouraged when the Lord corrects us, we can see discipline as a mark that he loves us. The punishment is not a rejection; it is an embrace. When in your life has God disciplined you? What did repentance look like, and what did you learn from it? In hindsight, in what ways do you see that the discipline was actually out of love?

There are moments in our lives where we feel alone and then God shows up in ways so unique to us and our circumstances that we are overwhelmed—this is not just an Old Testament reality but is true still today. When Matt told his own story of how God directed his steps with the elementary school, did it remind you of a similar experience where God directed your steps? Share about a time when God showed up so clearly to you that you could not miss it. What does that tell us about God and his character?

We tend to want to bury issues from our past, but our past has a tendency to follow us. What patterns can you identify where past issues keep resurfacing? In the year ahead, what is one pattern of sin you’ve seen in your life that you’d like to make progress on? How can your spiritual community help you?

"In Laban, Jacob met his match and his means of discipline. Twenty years (31:41) of drudgery and friction were to weather his character; and the reader can reflect that presumably Jacob is not the only person to have needed a Laban in his life" —Derek Kidner. Has God ever used a “Laban” in your life as a means of disciplining you? How has he used difficult people and circumstances to shape and form you? What is a way that he is currently doing that?

Robby mentioned that the American culture rewards activity that can produce positive circumstances and material blessings by what seems like our own effort. If we think being blessed is based on circumstances and material possessions, we are believing that we can live a blessed life without God. How might you be seeking a formula or making an idol of your blessings instead of seeking the one who blesses? In what ways have you had a “transactional” relationship with God to obtain his blessing and favor? What were the results or consequences of that?

Just because Jacob went through six years of oppression does not mean that God was not blessing him; suffering and difficulty do not mean a lack in God’s blessing or in our faith. He doesn’t promise to take away opposition but promises to work in us through it. Are you in a season of waiting? In what ways has God continued to bless you even through difficulty?

Blessings are not for ourselves; when we are aligned with God, he blesses others through us. What has God blessed you with? What has God blessed you for? How have you seen God use the blessings he’s given you for the good of others? How are you using what he has given you to bless and serve others?

Bill contrasts the faith of Jacob and Laban as being “personal” versus “propositional.” In what ways does your current faith in Christ lean more towards personal or propositional (knowledge and information based)?

Jacob’s and Laban’s faith can also be contrasted as “experimental” vs. “theoretical.” How have you been experimental in your faith this year? If you identify more with a theoretical faith, of acknowledging who God is but not acting on it, what steps can you take to move towards an experimental faith? What warning signs can help you identify when you are drifting from a personal and experimental relationship with God?

Laban puts his hope and trust in household idols that Rachel has taken from him. In what ways are you giving yourself too heavily to worldly ideas and experiences? What good things have the potential to become idols for you (e.g. children, marriage, finances, job, hobbies, friendships)? When have you felt the tension between pursuing friendships, “fun” activities, or general “busyness” with good things versus prioritizing your time and schedule for growth and serving others?

Jacob was fearful to face Esau years after he had wronged him but appealed to him with a humble countenance. When have you had to face someone years after a conflict where you wronged them in some way? Is there someone currently to whom you need to apologize where you have let time or distance be your excuse?

In this passage, we see Jacob finally showing some humility, recognizing that everything he has is from God. In the same way, it should be a daily part of our worship to humble ourselves before God and say, “I came here with nothing, but you have given me everything.” Why is it important that this is a part of our daily worship? Where in your life have you seen negative consequences from perceiving earthly things or people as yours instead of God’s provision and blessing?

We heard multiple examples of God using circumstances in people’s lives to get their attention and redirect them to dependence on him. What situations in your life has God used to consistently remind you of your dependence? What puts you in a position to call out to him?

It is God’s mercy that Jacob’s wound will, for the rest of his life, remind him of his need to be dependent on God. How might you be living with the illusion that you have things under control? Can you tolerate the idea that when you serve him he might take away your hopes and dreams? What is a time in your life when God destroyed everything you wanted to give you something better?

After years of speculating about Esau’s response, Jacob finally meets him. In what ways does Jacob exhibit faith? Self-reliance? How does this mixture of faith and self-reliance show up in your life? What are some long-term consequences from the times you have reverted into self-reliance?

Rather than fully trust God’s promises, Jacob’s old patterns of deception, fear, and need for control show up again in Genesis 33 where we see Jacob sow seeds of destruction in his own family. What are ultimately the roots of our fears, deceptions, or trying to manage the consequences of sin? What are we believing about God when we act out of fear? How do we fight against these patterns?

The story of Jacob and Esau’s reunion makes it hard to see either one of them as the hero of the story. Seen correctly, God is the hero of this unfolding story because only God can come through for us every time. Other than God, who can you find yourself looking to to be the hero of your story, and what have some of the results been in those situations? What or who are you looking to to complete you or fill you up?

What qualities of God make him uniquely qualified to be the hero of our stories? What needs to change in our thinking, practical decisions, and regular routine to ensure God is the primary hero of our story?

One of our responsibilities as believers is to remember. The world is always dragging us away, deflating our memory of who we are in God and what he is doing. How has your view of God been deflated? How can the local church help us to remember? What are the spiritual disciplines in your everyday life or week that feed your soul and give you opportunity to remember? If you don’t have them, what is something you can commit to starting this week?

Even though we say we worship one God, oftentimes we are actually “covering our bases” with other functional gods at the same time. How have you seen this to be true in your life? How might you be living out of the comfort, drive, ambition, life, or happiness of something other than God? Why does it seem easier to us to add him to the list instead of replacing the list with him?

Sometimes God takes everything away and offers nothing in return except himself. What do you need to bury under the tree like Jacob? What is the action step for you to separate yourself from the thing that is separating you from God? How can you actively choose him and let go of something that is pulling you away, distracting you, and dividing you from him? (Examples: addictions to material things, money, a dating relationship, friendships or a friend group, time, comfort, ambition, long-life, sin you have been harboring or not confessing)

Following God does cost at some point. When has it really cost you something or someone to obey him? What is your “trifecta of comfort” that keeps you from actually sacrificing anything? What would it look like to dismantle all of that and trust God with the consequences?

In what ways does Jacob’s story contradict the “health and wealth (prosperity) gospel” and the idea that if we follow God, all things will go well for us? In what ways can we fall into the trap of bargaining with God and thinking that if we do our part, he will be kind and gracious to us?

The sin in Jacob’s life has negative consequences on his family. His sons pick up his deceptive ways and put them into practice. How have you experienced consequences due to someone else’s sin? How have you seen your sin affect those around you?

James 1:14-15 reads, “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.” It is clear that unaddressed sin escalates. How do you see this process play out in the life of Jacob? How have you seen this process play out in your life, where one sin escalates leading to more sin and more consequences?

We learn from Jacob and his sons that harboring sin in our hearts will reveal itself in destructive ways. Is there sin fostering in your heart that needs to be confessed and repented of (jealousy, envy, hate, lust, anger, selfishness, etc.)? Who are you willing to confess it to?

What is a particular situation, resulting from sin, that you need to stop trying to fix but instead put your trust and faith in God’s providence? What is a practical step of belief that in his providence, he is redeeming and rescuing even in the sins of others?

Robby said, “God may be silent, but he’s not still.” God’s providence reminds us that he is always at work. In what area of your life or in a loved one’s life does he seem silent to you? In moments when it appears that sin has been victorious, how have you trusted that God is at work?

Joseph experiences tremendous highs and lows in his circumstances but remains faithful to God throughout. What can we learn from Joseph? How can we keep our faith from wavering when things are difficult? How can we not become self-reliant and independent when things are going well for us?

Matt describes why the Israelites needed the 400 years in Egypt to grow and mature enough to take advantage of the blessing he had for them in Canaan. Describe a time in your life when you were frustrated with God’s timing, but it proved over time to be exactly what you needed. How can remembering these times help us in the future when we grow impatient in our circumstances?

Read Ephesians 3:20-21 (if you are in a group, read together). When has God accomplished more in your life than you could have even imagined beforehand? How have you been made aware of God’s mighty power in the last few weeks?

In Genesis 48:2, we see Jacob not focused on himself but gathering his strength to do the work God still has for him to do and pass on to others what God has given to him. How can you emulate Jacob in this? What can you do to age well?

We struggle to believe God’s sovereignty because it destroys our illusion of control, puts us in a position to trust a God we can’t understand, and places us in a supporting role in our own life story.

• How and where does the illusion of control show up in your life? We all create systems that give us the appearance of safety and control—what are yours? (e.g. having the “right” friends, your children being on the “right” team or going to the “right” school, etc.)
• What are some areas where you find yourself trying to be the center of your own story? How might you be living like this life is all about you, and what can you change or re-prioritize so that you are in a supporting role for what God is doing beyond you instead of the lead role?
• How does your soul wrestle with trusting a God you can’t control or understand? In what areas do you find yourself expecting God to justify himself to you? How might you need to repent of unbelief?

As Jacob’s life is ending and he looks back over his life, he displays full confidence that God is almighty and worthy of being trusted. How have you or how have you not become settled and confident that God is almighty and can be trusted with your future? Where in your life can you practically embrace God’s sovereignty, or where do you need to fully trust God?

We must come to terms with the fact that our bodies, our dreams, and our goals are all in decline. With this in mind, what temporary things are you tempted to put your hope in? What are a couple examples of how you know that you are finding false hope in these dreams, people, material things, or goals? How can we practically shift our hope to God, the one who is eternal and can be trusted with both our earthly and eternal future?

Jacob’s faith was steady yet unclear; he had a vague understanding of eternity on this side of the cross. We are the ones with more concrete knowledge and understanding of God, yet we still doubt. What are some of the examples of knowledge and understanding that Matt listed out? How do these hold up against your doubts and unbelief?

At the end of your life, there will be unfinished business with your marriage, children, grandchildren, friendships, money, relationships, ministry, work, and even in your own soul. It will take faith to leave things unfinished and undone like Jacob did—not even able to see God's promises come to fruition. Is this concept hard for you to grasp? How does it change the way you see your current day-to-day life? Where might you feel a false sense of control over something that will be left unfinished and in the hands of God?

Looking back on the Jacob series, what has God taught you? What ways can you apply this story to your own life in the days and weeks to come?